Job Loss Phases

What happens after you lose your job?

How do people cope with job loss over time?

How to support someone who lost their job?

A journey based on personal experience – a spoiler, that’s good to now.

This article reflects on my own journey through job loss, as well as the experiences of those I’ve observed, supported, and worked with. It’s based on personal reflections, both as someone who’s faced job loss and as a leader who has had to navigate layoffs and transitions in teams.

I’ve witnessed how this process unfolds from multiple perspectives – firsthand, as a friend, and as a colleague. The phases described here are not scientific or universally applicable but are insights drawn from real experiences. Think of it as a spoiler for what to expect as you go through the phases of job loss – it’s comforting to know the journey has a pattern and progression.

Disclaimer

It’s not a scientific research paper; it’s a supporting hand made of words and personal reflections. It’s about connecting with you on your journey. My dream is to give you another set of perspectives and create a little bit more space for you to breathe and find inner comfort.

For practical steps and coping strategies on how to actually manage job loss, look in the next post I’m currently working on.

Situations and experiences of job loss vary greatly. This article is not a substitute for professional help. Please seek support from qualified professionals if needed.

Job Loss as a Process

The phases I derived here are one of many possible variations and generalizations. The key takeaway is that JOB LOSS IS A PROCESS – it’s a sequence of events, states, and experiences. It has a beginning, an end, and some phases in between.

Processes, like “job loss” or washing clothes in the washing machine, require time to complete each phase. Consider whether you trust yourself as much as you trust a washing machine to see the process through. I’m confident that you can manage the process of the “job loss program” and that you can move step by step through these phases. Knowing what the steps are may help you endure the unpleasant moments. So here they are:

Job Loss Phases

Phase 1: Rumor – Insecurity
Phase 2: Information – No Awareness
Phase 3: Unknown Future – Fear
Phase 4: LEAVING – Change Happens
Phase 5: New Order – Re-gain Control
Phase 6: Offers – Problem of Choice
Phase 7: Reflection – Understanding
Phase 8: (Dis)Comfort – Wisdom

Phase 1: Rumor – Insecurity

A change is coming… but it’s still far away.

You may experience:

• Team-, department-, or company-wide announcements about changes that may or will happen.
• Immediately after – people wanting to go home rather than work (it’s not as fun anymore as it was in the morning – that’s what losing motivation looks like).
• During next hours and days – hearing people complain and connect with others more than usual (staying longer in the kitchen for conversations, giving longer answers than the usual “I’m fine, how are you?”).
• Some people becoming more energized and alert, hoping for a positive change (see: it’s our own judgment of the situation that shapes our perception, not the situation itself).
• Colleagues outside your company reaching out to ask about your situation (sometimes they seem more informed than people inside the company).
• Hearing about strategies, plans, arguments for and against specific people, teams, departments, organizations, countries, or projects… These discussions try to answer the main question: Am I safe or not?

After a few days, everything goes back to normal – on the surface (even if this feels surprising). The organization absorbs the information, but in reality, nothing changes as it continues operating within its natural boundaries. Emotions and rumors do not last very long (why do you think our brains are the target of continuously served new disasters by the media? Brain needs new food).

Phase 2: Information – No Awareness

The information of being affected is there, but there is no awareness yet – it just doesn’t feel real.

Most of the time people get fired, you won’t be affected. Rarely, someone you know, someone you like, or someone you don’t like – any person you are emotionally connected with – will leave. You will be affected by this, to varying extents. And sometimes, very rarely compared to the previous scenarios, you will be directly affected. Sometimes it happens that it’s you and the people you know.

So, you get the information; you may be surprised, shocked, sad, feeling a variety of emotions, and your mood may change dramatically. However, usually, you’ll have a lot of time before you actually leave. So after a few days, you forget about it during the day, and you may catch yourself doing so, while working as usual – as nothing would happen, as the current situation would have to last forever. Sometimes it’s also called “denial” phase, but it doesn’t feel like active denial, I see it more as lack of awareness.

It may be related to the psychological distance – something distant is less threatening than something immediate: we fear a tiger that we see, but do you fear pollution or climate change the same way? Since we don’t, we continue business as usual until it hits us. It’s good in a way – that’s how our ancestors survived. But don’t let this historical achievement become the end to our future growth.

Phase 3: Unknown Future – Fear

You face the fear of the unknown future, but be grateful! Now you have the awareness that it’s ME affected, not OTHERS. Since this is now the reality, it’s good that you now are experiencing it. The unknown future feels threatening and, therefore, absorbing. And recall – this helped our ancestors survive.

What you may observe:

• Duality sets in: In-group vs. outside-group – the “affected” group and the “safe” group. This division forms as a consequence of pragmatic changes. It’s simply because these groups will have diverging focuses, as they will be solving different problems. The “leavers” group starts to solve problems OUTSIDE the company – and they will be less and less engaged as part of the current organization, and more and more like visitors or people simply sharing the same office. And the “safe” group continues to solve the problems they have INSIDE the company (sometimes there are new problems, due to taking over more duties from those who are leaving).
• Blaming: It’s okay if you notice yourself having such thoughts. We blame nature for rain and clouds, and then for too much sun, so why not blame people and organizations? Just remember that you are not your thoughts. Welcome them as they come in, and let them go as they leave – there’s no need to hold onto them. Adding fuel to blaming is not the best foundation for planting anything fruitful. Read the next post to get some hints on how to manage the job loss.

Phase 4: LEAVING – Change Happens

The information becomes a fact – you’re now physically LEAVING, and experiencing objective change.

What may happen:

• Returning company laptop and other property, vacating your desk, and packing your personal belongings.
• Cleaning up the things you always intended to clean up “later.”
• Goodbyes and reflections – emails, chats, meetings in person, remote meetings, gifts, and a little bit of troublesome silence.
• There may be plans to “keep everything as it is, meet, stay in touch” – this is more an expression of feelings than actual plans, as you’ll come to see.

The whole process happens quicker than you might think, and you may experience meaningful moments of change that heighten your awareness of being. This is actually a growing experience – to truly be in the moment. Dare to embrace the craziness and be grateful for these moments!

Phase 5: New Order – Re-gain Control

Now it’s on you – you are on your own. You take actions toward a new order – and by doing that, you finally regain control. You focus on “solving” the problem and creating the new normal for you, with new routines and goals.

This phase encourages another mindset shift, but actually it’s a choice you have to make!

Note the difference: it’s a completely different attitude and perception if you interpret the situation as “I DO IT” vs. “THEY DID IT TO ME.” This can be your attitude from the beginning – by simply saying YES to anything that happens. But if it’s not honest, you’ll end up faking reality. And yes, you can say “YES” and still remain in control of your life, even if the company decides to terminate your contract. You can say YES to it and SUPPORT what’s coming, support what’s unavoidable, and this will free you from what’s holding you back from truly experiencing reality.

However, usually, taking a physical action helps with the feeling of being in control. Although, it’s the same kind of illusion – but one that is easier to accept.

Phase 6: Offers – Problem of Choice

You got offers and thus solved the “problem” of job loss, but you realize that there is another problem: the problem of making the right choice for your new job.

If you’re in the earlier stages, the idea of facing a problem like choosing the right offer for a new job may feel like science fiction – something impossible, right? Not so obvious. Sometimes it’s the opposite, depending on your situation and culture. Yes, there are significant differences across societies, groups and individuals! Cultural attitudes toward job loss vary greatly. In some contexts, social pressure may emphasize immediate employment, while others encourage personal growth and exploration.

I know stories of people who dedicate the time after a job loss to… renovating a house financed by a loan from the bank, simply enjoying life for several months, or traveling to another continent to live there for six months. Not just jumping at the first offer, but waiting for the right one. Observe closely: who is making the decision? Is it you, or is it the social system?

You may be in the best position to answer the question: what do I actually lose with the job loss? Money, respect, position? Or maybe it’s income, self-identity, comfort, or freedom? This is a great source of insight into what you truly value.

Here’s another provoking question to consider: What do I gain by NOT having the job right now?

Phase 7: Reflection – Understanding

You have a (new) job now. Your brain has had time to process the past experience and come up with some reflections. You may feel a sense of sentiment toward your previous company and the people there, and you may feel happy with your new job and even thankful to the company that let you go.

Understanding may come in the form of reflections, patterns, and awareness of the prior steps. You’ve become an expert in managing job loss – you have the experience, and you succeeded. (You might now wonder why you ever doubted yourself – if you had doubts at all.)

This is also a moment where you might discover a pattern. Is this the first time? Is there something from the past that you now notice? You connect the dots with a new perspective. This is an opportunity to break a pattern, if there is one.

Phase 8: (Dis)Comfort, Wisdom

You’ve had a (not so) new job for some time already. But you realize you’re now more like a veteran back home. You’ve recovered; you don’t look for threats everywhere, but you’re not blind to them either. You find comfort in seeing things more clearly now. You know you can say YES. You understand that a contract is just a contract, a job isn’t given forever, and companies, products, teams – like everything – will inevitably change.

This awareness may lead to some discomfort and disconnection. Why does no one else see the tiger? Because it’s invisible. And since you’ve experienced it, you know it’s there, yet you don’t need to feel fear to include that in your perception.

This awareness makes you feel more resilient. You’re no longer shaken by “restructuring” or “changes,” and now you can serve and be helpful to others who may be worried. Be mindful. Be supportive. Consider this: if the path that started with job loss has made you into someone who can help others in their struggles, isn’t that something great?

Your Help is Needed

What do you feel toward a child, toward someone in pain or suffering, when you have the opportunity to be a friend to that person? You know how much a simple act of kindness can mean – how it can brighten a day. A smile as you leave the elevator, letting someone go first on the road, saying thank you, or greeting someone with a kind “good morning.”

And if you are still in one of the earlier phases, maybe even at the beginning, do you know who needs your help most right now? It’s you.

You need to take care of yourself. Smile at your reflection when you see yourself in the mirror. Remind yourself that you’re a valuable person who has overcome many difficulties in life. Tell yourself you’re proud of the good things you’ve done. Listen to your own emotions, your complaints, and hold your own hand. Appreciate your presence.

It’s you who will walk yourself out of your comfort zone – to find your source of strength, to seek good advice, to make new friends, to find the courage to reach out. Take care of your body, your fitness, and your nutrition.

Summary

After months or even years, you may still feel unreconciled with the loss, and it can remain painful, especially when you recall specific situations. Notice: this is how our mind-emotion system works – we can induce emotions by remembering situations that were rich in those feelings. Emotions are triggers for actions, so be aware of why you’re doing it, how it supports your goals, and how you can manage it to help you rather than weigh you down like ballast. Holding onto the past holds you back, right? This is where therapy can be helpful in supporting your growth by helping you let go of the past.

How do you like this post? I’m curious, please let me know. You see, you’re not alone.